Four years ago, my dear cousin passed away at the young age of 25, leaving behing is beloved fiancée and his 2 childrens. He had cancer.
The year that followed his death was really dark for me, as I felt guilty for not being close enough to my cousin. Even nowadays the memory I cherish the more is very hazy since they are from when I used to go to my grandmother's house. He was always there to mow the lawn.
Isn't it a bit ridiculous?
But the clearest memories are from sad events. The day he knocked at our door, my mom had forgotten to tell me he was staying over because he needed to go to the hospital for a few tests. The day I visited him at the hospital, a years later. At the funeral service.
I try to stay away from these because they are very painful moments.
Especially the funeral.
I think it's the only time I saw my older brother cry. My cousins were crying while carrying the coffin.
Oh God it's such a painful memory.
Anyway it's a hard day but I'll get through it !