Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Here's to another failure...

* Depressing entry ahead, you've been warned. *

I feel like such a failure right now... I've been studying for a couple weeks for this Greek exam: Greek has been my weakness for a while... I lack interest in the language and the learning style just isn't fit for me. For the whole semester, I thought I was doing ok, not As but passing, at least that's what the grades shown on the system were leading me to believe.

I was taking a break from studying and I relived that grades had been updated and somehow, things didn't add up.... I calculated my grade by myself and calculated how much I would need on my exam to get a good grade and it turns out... To my surprise, even if I get a 100%, I will barely pass. Turns out the system was making an average of my grades instead of allocating each point according to what they would be worth at the end of the semester, fooling me all this time. I thought I was doing ok, turns out, I was doing horribly.

There's nothing I can do about it now except cry. I've already told my mom so she's knows what to expect but I feel horrible. I'm 22 years old, still in CEGEP... University was right there, I could almost reach it... But if I fail this class, I can't get my CEGEP diploma in time so I can't start University next fall either and that is such a disappointment for myself.

I've always been extremely disappointed in myself for not completing CEGEP the first time around even tho I had a valid excuse not to. This time, I don't. I'm feeling like all the odds are against me ever going to university.

Anyone good with miracles? I wouldn't mind one tomorrow...

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